© Ted Rall

Somehow, despite the bad economy, the Republican campaigns seem to have lots of money. Even Sarah Palin is sending out fundraising letters just to get her to decide whether or not she is going to run for President.

In a speech last Friday in Florida, Romney accused Obama of taking advice from the “Harvard faculty lounge”. And last month, Romney used a similar line in a speech about foreign policy, “That may be what they think in that Harvard faculty lounge, but it’s not what they know on the battlefield.”. What’s ironic about this is while it is true that Obama got his law degree from Harvard, Romney himself not only has a law degree from Harvard, he also got a business degree there as well. Plus all three of his children have attended Harvard Business School.

As for his sound bite about Obama taking advice from the Harvard faculty lounge, Romney’s advisor on foreign policy teaches international affairs at Harvard, and his economic advisor for 2008 and 2012 is a star professor at Harvard whose textbook is used at colleges around the country.

“The military’s controversial ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy was officially retired. This marks a new age of tolerance, acceptance, and awkward showering for everyone in the military.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“That’s how ridiculous this policy was. The apology for the affront is, ‘Alright, you can go to Afghanistan and fight for your country.’” – Jon Stewart

“I think this will have an effect on our enemies. Be warned, evildoers. First we will defeat you, then we will redecorate your entire country.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The military’s policy of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is officially over. Don’t confuse this with President Obama’s economic policy, which is ‘don’t ask, I don’t want to talk about it.’” – Jay Leno

“President Obama is speaking to the General Assembly tomorrow and he’s expected to urge the delegates to fight global warming, reduce poverty, and find out what the heck is happening at Netflix.” – Craig Ferguson

“Some critics say Obama should be focusing on jobs instead of addressing the UN. But I think it’s important for Obama to talk to the other countries – because they’re the ones that have all of our jobs.” – Craig Ferguson

“Obama says his new plan to raise taxes on millionaires is not class warfare, it’s math. We Americans hate class warfare, but we also hate math.” – Jay Leno

“Since when does math settle anything? Like evolution, I believe math is just a theory.” –Stephen Colbert

“World leaders are here for the U.N. General Assembly. Today Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad went up to Central Park and arrested hikers. The Italian Prime Minister is also here. So good luck getting a hooker.” – David Letterman

“The most famous speech at the U.N. was Nikita Kruschev, who banged his shoe on the desk. I don’t mean he had sex with the shoe. That would have been Clinton. ‘I really like an open-toed espadrille.” – Craig Ferguson

“Moammar Gadhafi released an audio message saying that he’s still in power, and just ‘temporarily’ going underground. Sure, just like my local Blockbuster is ‘temporarily’ closing its doors.” – Craig Ferguson

“A new survey shows that 1 in 5 Americans believe that God steers the economy. Mystery solved: God is Chinese.” – Conan O’Brien

“China is now grading restaurants’ hygiene using smiley faces and frown faces. Really? Who do they have working on this stuff in China, kids? Oh.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Congress’ approval rating has dropped to 12 percent. The other 88 percent are withholding judgment until Congress actually does something.” – Jay Leno

“A satellite is now headed toward earth and the people at NASA have no idea where it will land. How would they know? It’s not like they’re rocket scientists.” – David Letterman

“Two new books about Sarah Palin came out today. All of a sudden, I’m feeling OK about Borders going out of business.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Some of the contestants on Dancing with the Stars … well, I’ve seen better dancing at the Republican National Convention. Nancy Grace showed how ironic a last name can be.” – Jimmy Kimmel

http://www.hulu.com/embed/C9RKCZYHYdg-UxNikN9RIw

I refuse to believe corporations are people … until Texas executes one! – bumper sticker

© Matt Wuerker

In a completely transparent bid to deflect the issue, Republicans are now calling for billionaire Warren Buffett to release his tax returns to the public. What Buffett’s tax return has to do with his suggestion that the rich should pay at least as much as the middle class in taxes is beyond me. I guess when you can’t make a good case against an idea, you try to attack the messenger.

“President Obama has proposed a new tax increase called the ‘Buffett rule.’ At first, Newt Gingrich was for it because he thought it was the ‘buffet rule’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Obama said Americans feel things aren’t fair, that the deck is stacked against them, and that nobody is paying attention. That’s an inspiring campaign speech.” – Jay Leno

“Michelle Obama has convinced the owners of the Olive Garden to cut calories and sodium by 20 percent. They took the first lady’s advice because Michelle Obama is more Italian than anybody that works at the Olive Garden.” – Conan O’Brien

“Did you know the White House makes its own beer? President Obama bought the equipment with his own money and he brews his own beer in the White House. That might explain some of these recent economic policies.” – Jay Leno

“More and more information coming out about our other presidential candidates. Like, did you know that Mitt Romney’s real name is Willard? He was born Willard. Well, thank god he had the good sense to change it to “Mitt.” That’s so much more accessible than Will.” – Jay Leno

“An article in the paper says today that Rick Perry is just ‘George Bush 2.0.’ To which Bush said ’2.0? I wish I did that well in school. Those are my dream grades.’” – Jay Leno

“All the world leaders at the United Nations agree on one thing: Superman has got to do more.” – David Letterman

“At the United Nations in New York, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was bragging that Iran now leads the world in captured hikers.” – David Letterman

“Nobody likes hiking more than I do, but it seems to me that if you have an atlas, you can find many places to go hiking – that aren’t Iraq or Korea.” – David Letterman

“This week, the U.S. military will formally end it’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. Later this week, the Air Force begins Operation ‘It’s Raining Men.’” – Conan O’Brien

“Rick Perry is the frontrunner and they love him because he’s authentic. You got to give him that. He is a real asshole.” – Bill Maher

“Are you watching these debates? Yes, the politicians are bad, but the people who egg them on. There are these crowds cheering for executions, cheering for letting people without health insurance die. In today’s Republican party, there’s a term for people who hate charity and love killing: Christian. … These are Christians? They prefer to be called a faith-based lynch mob.” – Bill Maher

“Wolf Blitzer asked Ron Paul what should we do about someone who is 30 years old, doesn’t have health insurance, and goes into a comma, and might die. And Ron Paul said something about, ‘Well, I miss the old days when people just took care of each other.’ Well, that’s good news. If you’re in Texas and get hit by a bus, a nun will put leeches on your forehead.” – Bill Maher

“Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don’t get sick in Texas.” – Bill Maher

“Four people in Texas got botulism from black tar heroin. And Michele Bachmann said, ‘Thank God at least it wasn’t a vaccination.” – Bill Maher

“There’s a big fight within the Republican party because of Rick Perry’s decision to give girls the HPV vaccine, which the right wing hates because it’s a mandate. Republicans hate the word mandate almost as much as they hate an actual man date.” – Bill Maher

“Protecting young girls from cervical cancer? Rick Perry left himself vulnerable to charges of having a tiny speck of humanity, which is very bad for a Republican candidate. So he announced a new policy for Texas. For every child who gets the HPV vaccine, he will execute two Mexicans.” – Bill Maher

“After the debate where the HPV issue came up, Michele Bachmann said she had a discussion with a woman who came to her and said that her daughter had taken the vaccine and had become mentally retarded. And Michele Bachmann said, ‘Mom?’” – Bill Maher

“Rick Perry said, ‘I only took $5,000 from Merck. Are you saying I can be bought for $5,000? I’m offended.’ This is how degraded our politics are. How dare you call me a cheap whore. I will have you know I’m a high-priced whore.” – Bill Maher

“A new book came out about Sarah Palin by Joe McGinnis. He claims some unbelievable, outrageous things about Sarah Palin – like she smoked pot, she snorted coke off an oil drum, she had an affair with her husband’s business partner, she had a thing for black men and fucked NBA star Glenn Rice. And his most amazing, outrageous claim? That in 2008 some nitwit tried to make her vice president.” – Bill Maher

“Sarah Palin doing cocaine? That’s ridiculous. That stuff can make you yammer like an imbecile.” – Bill Maher

“By the way, this guy who apparently had sex with her in 1997, NBA star Glenn Rice. Glenn, if you’re watching, a little advice for you. Next time you fuck someone’s brains out, put them back in.” – Bill Maher

“Trying to get today’s Republican to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill. You have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snout shut, and stroke their throats. And even then, just when you think they’ve swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum.” – Bill Maher

© Jen Sorensen

What I don’t get is that if Ron Paul wants everyone to chip in to help out people who have medical problems, why wouldn’t he just want the government to do it? Isn’t that somewhat the whole point of government — to provide things like education, police, defense, roads and other things that we all want to have?

© Ed Stein

[commentary from Ed Stein]

You knew this was inevitable. The Republicans have fallen back on their tried-and-true talking point, the one they use every time anyone asks for some simple fairness in the tax code. It’s class warfare. Never mind that the wealth of the nation has shifted dramatically to the richest Americans, that, in fact, America now boasts an income inequality that would make a Third World despot blush. One of the reasons we’re mired in this recession is that the middle class has lost so much economic clout it can’t spend what it used to, and it’s getting worse day by day. In saner times, politicians understood the value of a progressive tax structure. Now one party fights like a cornered animal to protect the assets of those who need the least protection, and ignores the needs of the rest of us. They call progressive taxes, derisively, “redistribution of wealth,” as though that’s a bad thing. Redistributing wealth is what governments do, at least when they’re doing their job. They take our tax money and give it to soldiers, policemen, firemen, sewage workers, trash collectors and the others we hire to keep our country functioning, and we take slightly more from the wealthy because, well, they can afford it, leaving the rest of us with enough to buy a few luxuries and keep the economy humming. When things get out of whack, as they are now, and we ask to restore what’s worked in the past, and it’s “class warfare.” As Warren Buffet famously noted, it’s a war the rich have already won.